January 13, 2009

My Story - Part 2

Everyone has heard the phrase, "The truth shall set you free" and my life is a testimony to that. It wasn't until I was able to look at myself and be honest about who I had become that some of the wounds began to heal. I had been believing my own lies for so long, that they had become my truth. Much like you would at an AA meeting, I looked at myself in the mirror and began, "My name is Stacy. I have very real problems with eating disorders. I lie. I have hurt people that I care about. I have let go of dreams that used to mean so much to me. I don't like who I have become and I have to change." I said these words through tears, with whispers, in a loud shout and by now, too many times to count. The truth slowly began its transformation in me. I sort of look at it like a man who brings home a piece of junk car with dreams of the hot rod it will become. He can go one of two ways with this car. One, he can let it sit in the garage while he tells his friends about his classic beauty and allows the rust to continue to eat away at the frame. Or two, he can recognize the work it will require to restore the car and spend his time fixing the broken pieces and smoothing out the dents and dings. Then one day, after much work and sweat, he will be the owner of a car that he can display proudly. I have chosen to be honest about the work that this woman needs and I am becoming more and more proud every day of the masterpiece I have become.

1 comment:

  1. this is a demon that you always have to keep in check because when you think all is dandy it slowly finds its way into your daily life looking for a reason to come back in your life. I know you are an amazing soul & look forward to seeing a glimpse of what other eyes see. forward is only how many steps it takes to get there. this will touch someone & just might heal one of there own scars. keepitup.