January 28, 2009

The Road to Recovery

On the road to recovery there are always a few bumps along the way. There are definitely days when I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. Days when my pants feel just a bit tighter than they did last week. Or even days when someone will make an off the cuff comment that pierces me to the core and torments me for days. These things are all a part of my life and a chance to prove to myself that I am strong enough to not allow old habits to reclaim me. All it would take is one day of wallowing in self pity and allowing thoughts to become actions before I slip right back into the destructive pattern of an eating disorder. This is what has taken me the longest time to learn. I can never stop fighting this thing. Every single day requires a new decision, more effort and a determination that for today I will not let that destructive mind set control me. Our minds are a very powerful force and they can be used to create a better life for ourselves or to destroy the precious one we have. Just like long distance running, this journey requires a steady tempo pace. It is not a sprint! I cannot snap my fingers and make it go away. However, I will try my absolute best to love and appreciate myself today on this leg of the journey. Lord willing, one day we will all see the finish line and cross it with the grace and dignity of knowing we were all that we were meant to be.

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