April 26, 2011

The Diary Of A Divorce ( Stacy)

Even though my divorce was finalized last week, there are still so many emotions, thoughts, memories and issues that I am dealing with. One big thing that I am still struggling with is the process of creating new traditions and not spending my time focused on the way things used to be. I had an absolutely wonderful Easter with my family and I enjoyed every single moment of it. However, throughout the day I couldn't help but think about all of the previous Easter's that I spent with H and his family. For the past 8 years, I have celebrated Easter by going to church with H's family and then having a huge family dinner with all of them. H and I would also exchange Easter baskets with each other and there was always a nice relaxing Easter morning run and an afternoon nap. We had wonderful Easter traditions and it is hard to not compare this year to years gone by. Creating new traditions is not an easy process and it feels a bit like wearing a brand new pair of sexy shoes...although you feel amazing in the new shoes, you can't deny that they pinch just a little bit. They are uncomfortable and new and fun and fantastic and irritating and weird all at the same time. Traditions must be broken in and given time to replace old memories. They need room to grow and flourish in order to replace the memories that are better off forgotten. Easter this year is a sweet memory of precious time with my family and I am looking forward to watching that tradition continue for many years to come.

(Above picture was borrowed from a gorgeous shoe poster by Steff Green and is available at allposters.com.)

2 comments:

  1. I'm entering the same boat and my husband and I will be getting divorced. Not for the same reasons, but still shocking, hurtful, overwhelming, and scary. My husband of 8 years told me on April 8th that he is gay. I can still barely wrap my head around it. We are living overseas with the miiltary and won't begin the divorce procedure until we return to the states in September. This makes it a little surreal and hard to take in. I am worried about him since he is active duty. He doesn't want to live a lie anymore and I don't want him to get physically hurt by some meathead. We're best friends and I can't imagine living without him- not in a I'm thinking of suicide way, but I really just can't imagine coming home after work and him not being there. I'm frantically looking for jobs and I'm scared for what the future holds. My life was all planned out and now it's not. I'm trying to approach the situation as a chance to start a whole new life, but I'm still scared. So far I've only told my sister and my best friend. I will tell my parents this weekend. Oh boy... Thanks for listening and keep on breaking in those new shoes. Amy

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  2. Amy - I am so sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with. I know that your heart feels so broken and battered right now. I wish that I could give you a big hug and take you out for some shoe shopping,coffee and girl chat. Please feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to. (stacybutler@juno.com)I know from experience that sorting through all of the emotions involved in a divorce is a long process. Hang in there girl and take it one day at a time.

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